Tuesday, August 25, 2009

lazy men and the art of frustration

I've heard that dishes can make or break a communal living situation, and I'd have to agree with this assessment. I've lived on occasion with other people, and when it goes sour, it seems that dishes or generally cleaning up after one's self are right there in the forefront.

I was last in the kitchen four days ago, when I did a heaping pile of dishes, canned 6 quarts of tomatoes, cleaned up all the canning mess and dishes, and scrubbed clean a dozen canning jars from the last moldy box in the basement. Since that time, I've been focused on working outside, putting in a full day of hard physical labor, trying to get yet another giant ignored pile transformed into what it was supposed to be. This doesn't leave a lot of time and energy to come inside and be the domestic servant that magically outputs good food and clean dishes.

Every dish in our house is dirty: every bowl, plate, glass, cup, and eating utensil. But no one washes the dishes. It is extremely frustrating. I know that not all men are lazy, but I am begging for examples to the contrary. I don't know what it is about having a vagina that makes one the most appropriate candidate for dish doing.

When discussing the lazy men phenomena with my daughter a few weeks ago, I told my daughter that I hoped she did not end up marrying a lazy man. She shook her head and said adamantly, "I'm marrying a woman!!" If I ever end up having another partner or roommate after the current pair move out, I hope they understand how community works. I hope they get the idea about giving and receiving. I hope they can clean up after themselves.

Gratitude is the highest vibration. I'm looking forward to living on my own, and believe me, I will be full of gratitude at that time. I'll miss the company, but not the upkeep lazy men seem to require.



@}-,'--- said...

I have this same f'n issue in my house. I've also had that same talk with Dayle.

Who is the pair moving out? Is it more than just Don you're talking about?


sharqi said...

Hi, Lesa. Don and Joe are trying to find an apartment together to keep expenses low. Joe is a friend of ours who moved up here this summer in search of work. He's been camping in the yard or sleeping on the couch for a couple of months.

Being selfish does not come easy to me. When I was cooking supper last night and breakfast this morning, I felt crappy not fixing some for everyone--but not quite as crappy as I do when I cook for everyone all the time. I don't know how other people can deal with being lazy or selfish. I don't like feeling that way.